A Wild Phallus-y
A collection of phallic shapes in nature
This might/will seem kinda weird. So, during our journey through New Zealand I went through a patch of noticing phallic shapes in nature, pointing and laughing like a pubescent schoolboy and photographing them. I put this down to a condition we called ‘bush fever’ — when separation from society gives rise to outlandish behaviour. At one stage I even floated the idea of hosting an exhibition of these photographs. This was art, after all, created by Mother Nature herself. Thankfully, it was just a phase. Either I grew up and it wasn’t funny any longer or we just didn’t see any more suggestive shapes in the wild (It was most likely the latter).
I don’t know if we’ll figure out a way to get these in the book we’re writing so thought we’d share them here.
This is Richards Knob. Not even kidding, it’s actually called that. I remember seeing this while we were standing on some other knob in the Tararua Range, which runs from south of Palmerston North to the Hutt Valley. Our conversation went something like this.
Me: “Holy shit, it actually looks like a knob.”
Ben: *laughing* “Yeah, it does.”
Me: *laughing*
Ben: “That’s classic.”
Me: “Yeah. Do you reckon whoever named it was having a laugh?”
Ben: “Yeah, for sure.”
Me: “Do you reckon his name was Richard?”
Ben: “Yeah, probably.”
Me: “We have to climb it, eh?”
Ben: “Yep.”
Me: “Shit.”
We had to climb up and over it and down the other side. Basically, we were all over Richards Knob that day.
This is a sculpted punga trunk (I think?) on the Queen Charlotte Track at the tip of the South Island. I assume it’s the work of a mischevious Department of Conservation worker. I just had to stop and take a photo. It looks remarkably phallic, doesn’t it?
I actually have no idea what this is, but it took my eye en route to the unforgiving Waiau Pass. I think I may have even yelled at Ben and our friend Charlie, “Whoa! Check it out.” They were, like, “Check what out?” And I was, like, “This.” They were, like, “What?” “THIS!” I pointed at the little knob growing, it seemed, out of a hollow tree trunk.
And, to give you an idea of scale, here’s a photo taken by Ben of me taking a photo of this natural anomaly.
