nerdfighterfighter:

We agree on what the voice is saying

YouTube

This metaphor sucks for about 5 million reasons but once again:

• This metaphor presupposes the existence of A Voice that warns you of the fire – as opposed to say, nothing?? Dying in a fire?? (I mean, you would hope they have some fire alarms installed but maybe in this metaphor John Green uninstalled his fire alarms because he was convinced The Voice In The Sky would save him. Which feels like a relevant distinction.)
• This presupposes The Voice is benevolent. Like it’s not assassins with a megaphone trying to lure them out of their house in the middle of the night. Is there even a fire in this metaphor? Are there signs of a fire? Smoke? Heat? The smell of the latest John Green novel going up in flames?
• The entire metaphor hinges on their eminent demise. The only reason you would not take the time to question who The Voice belongs to would be because you’re about 5 mins away from death and, sure, that’s not the ideal environment for a theological debate. (If that’s your point, John, I think we can all agree: don’t have lengthy philosophical debates in burning buildings.) But you’re telling me as soon as the emergency situation was resolved, you wouldn’t be deeply curious about where The Voice came from? Or if The Voice said something less life-threatening like, “Hmm idk John I’m not so sure about that choice of sweater, it doesn’t really go with your eyes,” you’re telling me you wouldn’t be questioning where the voice came from? You’d just be happy for the fashion advice? Because I’d be checking for hidden cameras in my house, filing a police report, etc. (Incidentally did anyone else enjoy The Watcher? I thought it was a good show.)

John how are you still using this metaphor???? Come on, man.

New plan: go outside John’s house at 2 AM with a megaphone and say “GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR VIDCON MONEY. PUT ALL OF YOUR YOUTUBE ALGORITHM CASH IN A BAG AND SET IT BY THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.”

He’s a pragmatic guy. He will do it.

This metaphor sucks for about 5 million reasons but once again:

• This metaphor presupposes the existence of A Voice that warns you of the fire – as opposed to say, nothing?? Dying in a fire?? (I mean, you would hope they have some fire alarms installed but maybe in this metaphor John Green uninstalled his fire alarms because he was convinced The Voice In The Sky would save him. Which feels like a relevant distinction.)
• This presupposes The Voice is benevolent. Like it’s not assassins with a megaphone trying to lure them out of their house in the middle of the night. Is there even a fire in this metaphor? Are there signs of a fire? Smoke? Heat? The smell of the latest John Green novel going up in flames?
• The entire metaphor hinges on their eminent demise. The only reason you would not take the time to question who The Voice belongs to would be because you’re about 5 mins away from death and, sure, that’s not the ideal environment for a theological debate. (If that’s your point, John, I think we can all agree: don’t have lengthy philosophical debates in burning buildings.) But you’re telling me as soon as the emergency situation was resolved, you wouldn’t be deeply curious about where The Voice came from? Or if The Voice said something less life-threatening like, “Hmm idk John I’m not so sure about that choice of sweater, it doesn’t really go with your eyes,” you’re telling me you wouldn’t be questioning where the voice came from? You’d just be happy for the fashion advice? Because I’d be checking for hidden cameras in my house, filing a police report, etc. (Incidentally did anyone else enjoy The Watcher? I thought it was a good show.)

John how are you still using this metaphor???? Come on, man.

I just went down a John Green rabbit hole because some John Green content was organically pushed to me and I came to find he’s STILL using his flimsy metaphors from 5-10 years ago that fall apart under the smallest amount of scrutiny. Ahhhhhhhh!!!

John Green shoplifting: Neither stores nor their shoppers benefit from any attempts to divine whether any stolen goods hide inside my pockets. Such efforts attack the very idea that money can be exchanged for goods and services, which is sort of the foundational assumption of capitalism.

freakslullaby:

Life imitates art which imitates life.

crebitordedit:

Glad you enjoyed it!

For one blissful moment I forgot the man existed.

I know Lindsay Ellis is somewhat affiliated with the vlogbrothers, but I was not prepared to watch an entire John Green video with no warning. Jesus.

Ahaha it reminds me of this:

Plot twist: John Green wrote that paper