tirkaro
Smash Champion
Link to original post: [drupal=2017]This ad bothers me episode 3: Special Evony Edition.[/drupal]
*Hey, yeah I'm back again (Not that most of you noticed/care) and I'm back with even more super-stupid advertisements*
Ads for mediocre web-RPGs is something anyone who's been on the internet for more than a week must be familiar with. You honestly can't go to any website these days without having OMG, TEH BEZT RPG GAEM EVAR REGISTER NOW 4 FREE shoved in their faces every 5 seconds. But yet, strangely, none have drawn as much scorn and facepalms as Evony's infamous barrage of horribly misleading ads. Evony must already hold the title for the game with the most amount of haters who never played, let alone bother to look it up.
Basically, all you need to know is that Evony looks like this:
it's basically a pretty dull RTS type-thing, basic stuff. Doesn't have much to do with screwing chicks with giant knockers, as, I **** you not, these ads try to make you believe.
The first of these ads isn't all that bad. Just some douchbag yelling at you whilst wearing perhaps the tackiest helmet ever invented. Not much to say about this ad other than if it had just stayed like this, nobody would really care about this stupid game in the first place. But no, you had to go the other route, didn't you, Evony guys?
Um okay...
the intentions behind this advert and every advert to follow were obvious; anyone will click on your little square box as long as it has boobs on it. That really must be the only reason these ads are still around. But compared to later feats of advertising stupidity, this one is pretty tame; You can still tell you're going to play a crappy free RPG, and it involves medieval times.
But one must wonder something: why the hell is she dressed like that when back then, exposing your left ankle was the equivalent of wearing a thong and a bikini made entirely of thin strings of silk?
and one other thing; Exactly Why is the bimbo in this ad look so.....relaxed. I could just take the easy way out and make an obligatory orgasm joke, but it doesn't even look like that. It looks more like she has ants crawling up her vaj while just waking up from a gallon of chloroform. I honestly have no idea how to categorize this, other than the fact that she demands you to play now, and your her lord. Wait, I didn't even start playing yet, how can I be your lord? and even if I was your lord, stop constantly bothering me while I'm on the internet and get back in the kitchen, wench.
Bu-hu-hu-whu? Okay, now what the hell happened here Evony? At first you were some typical Midieval low fantasy fare, and now all of a sudden you decide to become a game about 21st century supermodels who inexplicably refer to me as my lord? Um, sorry, I think you have the wrong word there.
Yes, in fact, the only conclusion this ad can lead to is the fact that you play as a pimp. Not just any pimp per se, but a pimp who must control a load of hoes with unhealthy mental habits, in this case being a chick who has an unhealthy obsession over DnD.
But wait, how did it even come to this? How did a game like Evony suddenly become Jaeel McEvony: Pimp Psychiatrist Extraordinaire? Did the guys who made Dragonball Evolution get ahold of this game already? Or did they think this game would naturally be better if they took the Bomberman: Act Zero route? Jesus this is almost as bad as the time the cast from YuYu Hakusho suddenly decided to wear black robes, recolor their hair and call their show "BLEACH."
Wait, why am I complaining? It's like, way better like this. Let's play this bytch already!
.....
.............
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Hey waiiit....
WHAT THE HELL!? This is the EXACT same game as before! Wait, do you mean there ARE no psychiatrist pimps in this game? Well that's just dirty false advertising! You promised me Pimp Psychiatry action, and I got none! Jesus, I thought the advertising for Jar Head was misleading!
Well your loss evony, now I can make billions of dollars off of your promised mental-helping Pimps idea, and theres NOTHING you can do about it! GOOD DAY TO YOU!
aaaaand, pretty much the ad that kicked up this whole evony ****storm, you can tell they pretty much gave up at this point. There is literally nothing here that implies a crappy RTS. What I find even more funny is that in certain versions of this ad, they keep on bragging the fact that you can play this game in your browser. But not in just any way, they say you can play it seeeeeeeeeecretly and discreeeeeeeetly. Um....yeah, of course you can, just like every other browser game. Why are you putting so much emphasis on this fact?
Oh, oh, of course, you're trying to imply that there's T&A flying all over the place, and people can hide their fapfest lest they risk getting PROMOTED.
But, you failed to regard this incredibly important fact: Nobody who plays pr0n games on the computer gets turned on by PIG DISGUSTING 3D monstrosities.
Aaaaaaaaaw yeah, now that's what I'm talkin' about.
*Hey, yeah I'm back again (Not that most of you noticed/care) and I'm back with even more super-stupid advertisements*
Ads for mediocre web-RPGs is something anyone who's been on the internet for more than a week must be familiar with. You honestly can't go to any website these days without having OMG, TEH BEZT RPG GAEM EVAR REGISTER NOW 4 FREE shoved in their faces every 5 seconds. But yet, strangely, none have drawn as much scorn and facepalms as Evony's infamous barrage of horribly misleading ads. Evony must already hold the title for the game with the most amount of haters who never played, let alone bother to look it up.
Basically, all you need to know is that Evony looks like this:
it's basically a pretty dull RTS type-thing, basic stuff. Doesn't have much to do with screwing chicks with giant knockers, as, I **** you not, these ads try to make you believe.
The first of these ads isn't all that bad. Just some douchbag yelling at you whilst wearing perhaps the tackiest helmet ever invented. Not much to say about this ad other than if it had just stayed like this, nobody would really care about this stupid game in the first place. But no, you had to go the other route, didn't you, Evony guys?
Um okay...
the intentions behind this advert and every advert to follow were obvious; anyone will click on your little square box as long as it has boobs on it. That really must be the only reason these ads are still around. But compared to later feats of advertising stupidity, this one is pretty tame; You can still tell you're going to play a crappy free RPG, and it involves medieval times.
But one must wonder something: why the hell is she dressed like that when back then, exposing your left ankle was the equivalent of wearing a thong and a bikini made entirely of thin strings of silk?
and one other thing; Exactly Why is the bimbo in this ad look so.....relaxed. I could just take the easy way out and make an obligatory orgasm joke, but it doesn't even look like that. It looks more like she has ants crawling up her vaj while just waking up from a gallon of chloroform. I honestly have no idea how to categorize this, other than the fact that she demands you to play now, and your her lord. Wait, I didn't even start playing yet, how can I be your lord? and even if I was your lord, stop constantly bothering me while I'm on the internet and get back in the kitchen, wench.
Bu-hu-hu-whu? Okay, now what the hell happened here Evony? At first you were some typical Midieval low fantasy fare, and now all of a sudden you decide to become a game about 21st century supermodels who inexplicably refer to me as my lord? Um, sorry, I think you have the wrong word there.
Yes, in fact, the only conclusion this ad can lead to is the fact that you play as a pimp. Not just any pimp per se, but a pimp who must control a load of hoes with unhealthy mental habits, in this case being a chick who has an unhealthy obsession over DnD.
But wait, how did it even come to this? How did a game like Evony suddenly become Jaeel McEvony: Pimp Psychiatrist Extraordinaire? Did the guys who made Dragonball Evolution get ahold of this game already? Or did they think this game would naturally be better if they took the Bomberman: Act Zero route? Jesus this is almost as bad as the time the cast from YuYu Hakusho suddenly decided to wear black robes, recolor their hair and call their show "BLEACH."
Wait, why am I complaining? It's like, way better like this. Let's play this bytch already!
.....
.............
....................
Hey waiiit....
WHAT THE HELL!? This is the EXACT same game as before! Wait, do you mean there ARE no psychiatrist pimps in this game? Well that's just dirty false advertising! You promised me Pimp Psychiatry action, and I got none! Jesus, I thought the advertising for Jar Head was misleading!
Well your loss evony, now I can make billions of dollars off of your promised mental-helping Pimps idea, and theres NOTHING you can do about it! GOOD DAY TO YOU!
aaaaand, pretty much the ad that kicked up this whole evony ****storm, you can tell they pretty much gave up at this point. There is literally nothing here that implies a crappy RTS. What I find even more funny is that in certain versions of this ad, they keep on bragging the fact that you can play this game in your browser. But not in just any way, they say you can play it seeeeeeeeeecretly and discreeeeeeeetly. Um....yeah, of course you can, just like every other browser game. Why are you putting so much emphasis on this fact?
Oh, oh, of course, you're trying to imply that there's T&A flying all over the place, and people can hide their fapfest lest they risk getting PROMOTED.
But, you failed to regard this incredibly important fact: Nobody who plays pr0n games on the computer gets turned on by PIG DISGUSTING 3D monstrosities.
Aaaaaaaaaw yeah, now that's what I'm talkin' about.
On the Kirby Wiki. -_-
