We'd say she needs no introduction, but she demanded one, so here goes: She's a movie star, a fashion icon, and she's the most famous pig in the world. Miss Piggy (star of the hit motion picture Muppets Most Wanted, available now on Blu-Ray and digital HD) ____ sat down with us over breakfast recently to share thoughts on her love affair with everything from açaí to wagyu (as well as a certain green co-star). But she most definitely does not share her donuts, so back off, sweetie.
Moi’s day begins before the sun rises, when I wake up to the sound of birds tweeting in the trees. (Who knew birds were on Twitter?) Upon realizing it’s too early to get out of bed, I immediately fall back asleep and leave a wake-up call for some time on the other side of noon. Tip for your readers: Beauty demands beauty sleep. Waking moi early makes moi angry, and as my close personal friend the Hulk says: You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry. (Bet you didn’t know I’m friends with the Hulk; there’s something about green guys that drives me wild.)
Oh, I leave that up to my personal chef, not to be confused with the Swedish Chef, who’d serve you lutefisk and lingonberries morning, noon, and night if it was up to him. Usually my personal chef offers up a delightful array of pastries, a hearty selection of strudels and heaping bowls of fresh fruit (for decorative purposes only). Carb-loading is tres important to keeping my fabulous figure.
Simple, when it comes to healthy living, I have three rules: One, I never eat anything I can’t lift. Lucky for moi, I can bench press a dessert cart. Two, I run daily, usually while chasing a frog. Three, I follow the Rich Food Diet. I can eat whatever I want as long as someone rich pays for it.
Oh, that’s not a delicate question, that’s a death wish. Now, back away from the donuts and let’s move on, shall we?
Well, for moi, breakfast will always be the most important—or at least the first—meal of the day. Once I’m done with breakfast, I meet with my personal trainer, who designs my workout routine and does it for me! (If I’m paying, he’s sweating.) Then it’s time for lunch. I usually order something light—you know, one of those flambé dishes that they set on fire at tableside. Very tasty, but please take note: Flaming dishes and frilly blouses are not a good combo.
Sure, I’d love some. Is Bon Appétit picking up the tab?
If Bon Appétit is paying…plenty. Where are we going?
I like places that are extremely exclusive, and breathtakingly chic. If you don’t have to fight your way through a phalanx of paparazzi to get into a restaurant, what’s the point? For moi, eating out is a social occasion, an opportunity to hobnob with my fellow A-listers while chowing down on foods like kohlrabi, cavolo nero, matsutakes, tabbouleh, hamachi, manchego, burrata, mangosteens, açaí, goji, arctic char, skate, loup de mer, barramundi, and wagyu, as well as those grains farro, quinoa, and couscous. I have no clue what any of this stuff is, but if it’s trendy, I eat it. Besides, if you use enough whipped cream, anything tastes good.
Absolutely! In fact, I was the very first Hollywood celebrity to raise money to free the Glutens. (Night of 100 Glutens? That was moi.) To think these Glutens have been trapped in our food all these years. It’s a tragedy and this diva is not going to stand for it any longer.
Absolutely! Movie making is very difficult work. One cannot afford to be sluggish, or some overzealous starlet might get more screen time than vous. On Muppets Most Wanted (available on Blu-Ray and DVD. Is it okay if I mention that? Good, because I just did)…. Anyway, when I was shooting Muppets Most Wanted, I not only sang a duet with Celine Dion, but I shared her food. (Not only is she an incredibly talented singer, but she never finishes anything on her plate…and doesn’t mind sharing.) And, if I overindulged at the craft-services table, no problem: I got a daily martial-arts workout keeping my marvelously funny but a-little-too-cozy-with-the-frog co-star, Tina Fey, away from my ridiculously handsome but he-better-stay-away-from-Fey leading man, Kermie.
Chocolate cake with chocolate mousse filling and a rich ganache icing. And topped by life-sized bride-and-groom figurines of Kermie and moi. On second thought, let’s skip the figurines. Just make the cake big enough for us to stand on, then I can eat my way to the bottom.
Of course. I believe that you are what you eat. So, eat what you love and you’ll always love yourself! Isn’t that fantastique!? Are you done with the questions? Good. Let’s get going. Moi has always wanted to eat dinner on Bon Appétit’s expense account. TAXI!!!!!!