Woman Upset BF Didn’t Warn Her That Her Vacation With Her Ex Means They’re Breaking Up
Every one of us is different. Our values, the things that bring us joy or pain, the qualities we like in others, and the things we detest are all distinct. So finding the right partner for yourself is a tough job. Sometimes things that look like nothing bad may hurt another person and things that we used to do, we have to stop doing in order to avoid hurting the person that we love.
Well, this Reddit user’s girlfriend did quite the opposite. Despite knowing that her planned vacation with her male friends made her current boyfriend uncomfortable, she still went ahead. So, as you can imagine – it ended in a breakup.
More info: Reddit
In some situations, in order for a relationship to survive, you need to put your partner’s feelings before your wishes
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
This man shares that his girlfriend went on vacation with her male friends and one of them was a guy who she used to hook up with
Image credits: Vlada Karpovich (not the actual photo)
He told her that this made him uncomfortable, but she just assured him that it would be fine and that they are like brothers to her
Image credits: Alena Darmel (not the actual photo)
Well, he had already decided that he would break up with her, he just wanted to do it in real life when she came back
image credits: u/AccordingBoard6448
Once she found out, she burst into tears, saying that she wouldn’t have gone on vacation if she had known he was going to break up with her
A few days ago, one Reddit user shared his story, asking for community members’ opinion on whether he was being a jerk for not telling his girlfriend that he was going to break up with her if she went on vacation with her male friends. The story caught a lot of folks’ attention and collected over 18K upvotes and 7.5K comments.
The original poster (OP) starts his story by sharing that his girlfriend decided to go on vacation with her male friends. He noted that she never introduced him to them, he also found out that with one of them she used to hook up and she was aware that this trip makes him uncomfortable. Well, she just ensured that everything is going to be okay and they are like brothers to her.
OP noted that he had already decided that he was going to break up with her, but wanted to do it in real life. So when she came back, he picked her up and broke up with her. She obviously burst out in tears, saying that nothing happened and if she knew that he was going to break up with her, she wouldn’t have gone. He reminded her that she was aware that he didn’t want her to go and didn’t want to threaten her with ending the relationship.
Community members backed the man up, discussing that he did well to explain his view towards this vacation, and she made her choice. “You had a reasonable boundary, and you didn’t force it into a scenario where she could resent you over it,” one user wrote. “NTA you can’t hook up with someone and say they’re like brothers to you,” another added.
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
Probably many of us have different opinions regarding opposite-sex friendships, as some of us may think that it’s impossible or at least very challenging, especially if you are in a relationship, while others may not even care about it. Well, every relationship is different, but Lambert Couples Therapy listed a few ground rules that may help you keep both your relationship and friendship healthy.
For the person in the friendship, it’s crucial to clarify that your friendship is entirely platonic and to make sure that everyone understands this. Also, refrain from having too much physical contact with your friend and be truthful with yourself about your goals for this friendship.
Now, for the other person, it’s also important to think about if their partner had these friendships prior to their meeting. Acknowledge the origin of your feelings of insecurity and jealousy, and be ready for your partner to become enraged if you bring up the subject of your partner’s interactions with people of the opposite sex.
So, can men and women ultimately be friends only? Maintaining friendships with friends who are the opposite sex while in a relationship can lead to a lot of problems, as Better Magazine notes.
The partnership needs to address the difficulties head-on, depending on who is complaining—the partner who is dissatisfied with the friendship with someone of the opposite sex or the partner who is mistrusted for having it. If not, the friendship between people of different sexes could harm or even end the relationship.
But what’s your take on this situation? Was the man being too harsh? Or was it the woman’s fault? Share your thoughts below!
Redditors stood by the man, stating that his girlfriend knew the consequences
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there was un update on this. a week after the break up, he was contacted by one of the guys. was asked if they had been dating. author said yes. well, the guy apologized and said he had no idea and that he and that girl had been hooking up for months and that she had told him that she and the partner had broken up. and yes, they had messed around on said trip. author thanked him and said that the guy was being genuine.
This is crazy. I have a lot of guy friends, some I have hooked up with way before I met my husband. One is my old high school boyfriend, but we are very close and very platonic. My husband has met them all. I would NEVER go on any sort of trip with them without my husband. Not because anything would happen, but out of respect for his feelings because we are in a committed relationship. It has been rare that I have hung out with any of my guy friends alone, and it is entirely my choice because I just don't think it's appropriate to hang out with certain people I have history with one on one. I'd rather NO ONE get the wrong idea. He honestly did the mature thing by telling her his feelings and letting her make the choice without an ultimatum. The fact that she won't introduce him to them makes the whole thing suspicious.
It’s the not introducing! I agree! And the update shows it was a valid concern!
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I'm with OP all the way. He didn't have to threaten to break-up with her if she went. I trust my sister 0% because of our past and I told my ex-husband that I would divorce him if I found him in a corner with my sister (I said this because he was suggesting stuff). I did not divorce him for this, I divorced him because I finally woke up and realized he was a monster.
I'm glad you got away from him then! Hope your life is way better now.
Load More Replies... there was un update on this. a week after the break up, he was contacted by one of the guys. was asked if they had been dating. author said yes. well, the guy apologized and said he had no idea and that he and that girl had been hooking up for months and that she had told him that she and the partner had broken up. and yes, they had messed around on said trip. author thanked him and said that the guy was being genuine.
This is crazy. I have a lot of guy friends, some I have hooked up with way before I met my husband. One is my old high school boyfriend, but we are very close and very platonic. My husband has met them all. I would NEVER go on any sort of trip with them without my husband. Not because anything would happen, but out of respect for his feelings because we are in a committed relationship. It has been rare that I have hung out with any of my guy friends alone, and it is entirely my choice because I just don't think it's appropriate to hang out with certain people I have history with one on one. I'd rather NO ONE get the wrong idea. He honestly did the mature thing by telling her his feelings and letting her make the choice without an ultimatum. The fact that she won't introduce him to them makes the whole thing suspicious.
It’s the not introducing! I agree! And the update shows it was a valid concern!
Load More Replies... I'm with OP all the way. He didn't have to threaten to break-up with her if she went. I trust my sister 0% because of our past and I told my ex-husband that I would divorce him if I found him in a corner with my sister (I said this because he was suggesting stuff). I did not divorce him for this, I divorced him because I finally woke up and realized he was a monster.
I'm glad you got away from him then! Hope your life is way better now.
Load More Replies...
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