The Top 20 ‘South Park’ Episodes of All Time

“South Park’’ is 17 years old. Think about that for a second. It’s one year removed from being able to vote. It’s four years away from being able to legally drink. It premiered one year into Bill Clinton’s second administration and two years into Tom Brady’s college career.

It’s still … well, eight years behind “The Simpsons’’ for animated longevity (and I highly doubt the sudden Broadway stars Matt Stone and Trey Parker are going to keep doing this for as long as the Springfield crew did), but frankly “South Park’’ has never plunged into the extended slump “The Simpsons’’ has. Seventeen years in, and they’re still turning out hilarious, satirical and wholly inappropriate gems on a regular basis.

So, it’s time to celebrate the show as the 18th season dawns. What better way than to try to pick out the top 20 “South Park’’ episodes of all time? It might be an exercise in futility — I shared this list privately with a few other “South Park’’ fans, and they almost shanked me over the exclusions of a few of their favorites — but damn it, I did it anyways.

Agree? Disagree? Yell at me, one way or the other, in the comments section.

20. ‘Towelie’

The “worst character ever’’ makes his first appearance in this absurd but hilarious episode, as the perpetually-high, talking towel plunges the boys into an international military mystery. “South Park’s’’ equivalent of “The Simpsons’’ self-parodying Poochie episode, and just as sly.

19. ‘HumancentiPad’

The episode that made us all look at those iTunes “Terms and Conditions’’ a little closer, as Kyle clicks into being the middle part of Steve Jobs’ most twisted new Apple product (google “human centipede,’’ if you need to find out exactly what it is – I don’t think I can even describe it here). Meanwhile, the episode eerily nails the strange experience of shopping at an Apple Store – God bless those geniuses.

18. ‘You Got F’d In the A’

This parody of the awful “You Got Served’’ / “Step Up’’ movies of the mid-2000s is another showcase for Randy Marsh, the best non-core-group character in the show; his dance to “Achy Breaky Heart’’ is fantastic. Continuing in “South Park’s’’ tradition of creating severely hummable songs, their fiddle-driven “You’ll Do a Line’’ and “You’ll Snort K’’ and the ragtime “I’ve Got Something in My Front Pocket For You’’ ring in the heads for days afterwards.

17. ‘World Wide Recorder Concert’

Ah, the recorder. That simple, idiot-proof instrument you got in third grade music class to completely rock out “Yankee Doodle Dandy.’’ Leave it to “South Park’’ to ruin it with this foul episode, which features the boys’ search for the “Brown Note’’ (a mythical frequency that causes people to lose control of their bowels) and Mr. Garrison’s crippling depression over not being molested by his father. Kenny G features prominently in the resolution of the latter’s storyline.

16. ‘The Red Badge of Gayness’

The recipe for a new Civil War? The re-enactors of “South Park,’’ drunk on s’mores flavored schnapps (the episode DVD commentary is worth it, just to listen to Matt and Trey talk about their desire for that drink to exist) and prompted on by a General Lee-costumed Cartman obsessed with enslaving Stan and Kyle. As a fan of the old Danny Glover-hosted “Civil War Journal’’ specials, Cartman’s sepia-toned historical voice-overs were spot on perfect.

15. ‘Butters’ Very Own Episode’

“South Park’s’’ episodes went up in quality when Matt and Trey ditched the worn-out “Kenny dies’’ theme for the stutterings of Butters as the boys’ fourth pal. Along the way, they gave poor Butters a truly demented family history – arguably, the most horrible in the a series of ignominies he’d suffer in seasons to come – by introducing his closeted father and a driven-insane mother who attempts to drown him in a lake in “Butters’ Very Own Episode.’’ Included in this episode: creepy “cameos’’ from fellow innocents O.J. Simpson, John and Patsy Ramsey and Gary Condit.

14. ‘Red Hot Catholic Love’

This episode would make this list for the hysterical Pitfall reference alone. The fact that it’s a vicious satire on the scandals that tore apart the Catholic Church in the early part of the decade? That’s just a bonus. Oh, and there’s also some trademark “South Park’’ disgustingness, as Cartman invents a new dining process called “interorectogestion,’’ far too awful to be detailed here.

13. ‘Imaginationland’ Trilogy

Cheating a little bit by including these three into one (the “Imaginationland’’ trilogy was originally supposed to be a full-length movie). Taken together, they’re the among the most ambitious and thoughtful episodes of the entire series, a thoroughly modern look at the battle of good versus evil. Bonus points for an amazing “Stargate’’ parody and the unfortunate, horrifying end to the life of “Kurt Russell.’’

12. ‘Prehistoric Ice Man’

It’s the little details that make this second-season episode so memorable – specifically, the 1996-themed room that mad Dr. Mephesto (a character that has, sadly, disappeared from the show) makes for a recently-frozen man the boys find while hunting in the mountains for crocodiles. The “Fargo’’ and “Independence Day’’ posters? Ace of Base on the stereo? Eddie Bauer clothing? Perfect.

11. ‘Volcano’

Another early episode that makes the countdown, as the boys and Uncle Jimbo head out into the wilderness in search for a creature named “Scuzzlebutt’’ – a monster with Dallas star Patrick Duffy as one if its legs. Thanks to this episode, it’s now completely impossible for me to go into any sort of outdoor environment without yelling “It’s comin’ right for us!’’ at every animal, and it’s ruined any and all “Step by Step’’ nostalgia.

10. ‘Cartman Joins NAMBLA’

Cartman’s quest for more “mature friends’’ brings the unwanted and astonishingly inappropriate attention of the North American Man-Boy Love Association, an organization that – incredibly enough – actually exists.

9. ‘The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring…’

Pure, naughty fun all around, as the boys set off on a “Lord of the Rings’’ parodying quest to return a pornographic video to the “Two Towers’’ video store, with Butters playing the role of a tortured, tape-obsessed Gollum. This episode spoiled the end of “Lord of the Rings’’ for me well before the last movie could hit the stores. Quick trivia question – can anyone remember what the name of the tape was?

8. ‘Lil’ Crime Stoppers’

The boys’ reward from the police department for their exploits at playing detective? An actual assignment to crack open a seedy, corrupt meth and money-laundering ring, with all the requisite macho scenes played for age-inappropriate laughs. This hysterical send-up of every lazy 1990s corrupt-cop action flick has one of the series’ most guffaw-worthy ending twists, as well as another demeaning and X-rated appearance for poor Butters.

7. ‘AWESOM-O’

It’s always fun to see Cartman get his comeuppance, and no episode turns the tables on him in a funnier fashion than this one – as he gets stuck in his homemade, robotic AWESOME-O costume after a prank on Butters goes awry. Meanwhile, Cartman / AWESOM-O’s brain-dead suggestions for Adam Sandler films seem to all have come true.

6. ‘Make Love, Not Warcraft’

I gave up on gaming after “Wolfenstein’’ stopped being popular, so I’ve always thought the bloated, Hot Pockets-scarfing, chair-bound boys in “Make Love, Not Warcraft’’ presented a kind of terrifying alternate history scenario. This is a disgustingly funny look at hard-core gamers, capped off with Cartman loudly defecating into a pan as the boys are in the midst of an intense video game session.

5. ‘Over Logging’

This sly look at our addicted-to-the-internet culture is told through the Marsh family’s “Grapes Of Wrath’’ style journey to the coast after the country’s online service goes out, as they desperately search for any web time they can find. Randy Marsh’s hysterically frustrated pursuit of internet pornography is one of his finest moments.

4. ‘Osama Bin Laden Has Farty Pants’

The first really funny bit of American pop culture after the 9/11 attacks satirized both the U.S.’s reaction to the attacks (Sharon Marsh’s dead-eyed news coma, the kids affixed with gas masks) before moving to Afghanistan, turning into a hilarious World War II-era propaganda cartoon with Cartman playing the Bugs Bunny role as tormentor of Osama Bin Laden. Pair this episode with a season of “24,’’ and you’ll get a really insightful glimpse into early-millennium America.

3. ‘Good Times With Weapons’

The eighth season of “South Park’’ was created in parallel to Matt and Trey’s “Team America’’ efforts, pushing the limits of the creators’ creativity; somehow, they managed to spin out a legendary season (three episodes make this list), topped off with this wonderfully creative episode. Framed by the boys’ transformation into oversized anime figures and a shuriken assault of poor Butters, “Good Times With Weapons’’ is a dead-on assault at society’s knee-jerk mass hypocrisy over sex and violence, ending with a very public “wardrobe malfunction’’ from Cartman.

2. ‘Trapped in the Closet’

The most famous “South Park’’ episode of all time? Probably. “Trapped in the Closet’’ took its skewering of Scientology to brilliant, controversy-swirling lengths in this amazing episode, featuring cameos from closet-bound parodies of Tom Cruise and John Travolta and an unforgettable appearance from R. Kelly. As opposed to the respectful, humorous jabs at the LDS church in “All About Mormons,’’ this episode (paired with “The Return of Chef’’) is a full-blown assault on Scientology.

1. ‘Scott Tenorman Must Die’

Yeah, this one’s gotta be number one. “South Park’’ reached transcendency when Cartman went from cartoonish prankster to an absolute force of evil, and his Shakespearian-esque revenge against his red-headed, Radiohead-obsessed tormentor Scott Tenorman is a force of hilariously horrific cartoon villainy. Also? This might be the most quotable episode ever (“Nyah Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah! I made you eat your parents!’’ “Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! My-yummy!’’ “Oh, no, pony! He’ll like that!’’) and Radiohead’s droll cameo is ranks as the best in the show’s history. “Scott Tenorman Must Die’’ is blacker than black, darker than night and funny as all hell – the epitome of everything that has made “South Park’’ the legendary show it is.