What’s Your Glass Slipper?

I’m a lot like Cinderella: I have unrevealed potential. I’ve sat by the fire many times thinking about the ups and downs of life. Feeling that I have a bigger destiny – I could do more, be more. But who doesn’t? Don’t most of us believe we have it in us to do better, be better, accomplish more?  

Something has always held me back from attempting to attend “The Ball”. I’ve blamed it on circumstances, timing, other priorities. I’ve argued that I have everything I need, so what was wrong with staying safe and comfortable? Except.  

Except it doesn’t feel comfortable any more. Now that my kids are settled in as amazing adults, I’ve had time to reflect on what’s important to ME. My priorities. My goals. My intentions. Because dreams don’t actualize if all they are is dreams. And goals aren’t achieved if all they are is words on paper. Action is required.

Action takes commitment. Commitment takes confidence. Confidence means we make decisions. Choices.

I have a lot of choices for how I live my life. We all do. Ironically, having choices can be what holds us back. We may worry if what we want to do is “acceptable” or “realistic”.  What will people think?

Does it matter? We can’t control other people‘s judgment or opinion of us. We can, however, control our reactions. I’m not saying it’s easy. Trust me, I know. I’ve listened to the voices inside me constantly nag not to take risks or expect more. Or to try to be more. I call them my evil stepmother voices. I’ve nicknamed them Lady Tremaine, after Cinderella’s stepmother. We probably all have at least one. Not actually a stepmother – but someone like Lady T who makes our life difficult.

I Made the Choice

My coach won’t let me get away with blaming other people, even a fictional character like Lady T, so let me rephrase myself: Lady T symbolizes the people whose opinions and judgments I have accepted as truth. Passivity and fear of rejection have resulted in me holding myself back. Yep. I made the choice to believe other people knew what was good for me better than I knew myself.

It’s taken me decades to admit that I am standing in my own way. That I am able to do whatever the F* I want to do if I have a clear intention, set my mind to it, and find the courage not worry about what others think. That’s one reason I’m so intrigued by The Alter Ego Effect exercises I’ve been doing. Building an Alter Ego is showing me how to channel the strengths and gifts buried inside me. It’s reminding me that I have the skills and capacity to become my best self if I stop listening to the doubting voices inside me. If I release the core of awesomeness that I’ve suppressed.

What a scary thought though.

Cinderella had it Easy

Cinderella had a Fairy Godmother who gave her the key to her future happiness: glass slippers. Glass is fragile; our young heroine shouldn’t have been able to walk in them, let alone dance all night. She did the impossible with those slippers.

Okay, it’s a fairy tale. The impossible happens. But fairy tales typically have messages so I wanted to know why the slippers were glass. Did you know that they were the only items that her Godmother gave her the night she transformed? The slippers were not created from any animal or material object that could revert to another form at midnight, or any other time. They were uniquely hers. The only person who could wear them and walk in them was Ella.

There are academics who believe Cinderella is a parable about the Recognition of True Worth. Their interpretation is that the glass slippers represent Cinderella’s ‘true’ identity – she has all the traits of a princess: strong but compassionate, kind and pure of heart. But her best self is hidden and suppressed until she puts on the slippers. Her slippers. Her uniquely fitting shoes. The ones that will take her on the journey to finding out how much potential she has to live a better life.

Think about that. The glass slippers remained even when all the glorious magic – all the impressive material things – disappeared. They alone were intact. Their very presence was her proof of identity.

One of the things I love in the original versions of the story is that Cinderella was not discovered and rescued by a prince. She made her own choice to attend The Ball and committed to finding a way to make it happen. And even when midnight came and the facades faded away, she held on to the one thing that mattered. The slipper that held the key to her future life.

What’s your Glass slipper?

In Chapter 14 of his book The Alter Ego Effect, Todd Herman explains how we can use a token, artifact or article of clothing to help us step into our best self. To channel our inner strength and beauty to transform and achieve our dreams. It's a powerful book and that chapter is my favourite, as it's about activating our Alter Ego.

The concept of a token got me wondering even more about the role of Cinderella’s glass slipper. It had to be more than the easiest way to identify the princess on the dance floor. Her small feet? Really? I have small feet…all it’s ever done is make shoe shopping difficult.

But if putting on her glass slipper helped Cinderella bring her unique qualities to The Ball…if she was the only one who they fit...if they inspired her to dance…if ithey created a way for her to allow herself to shine…well. That’s an intriguing concept.

I’m taking liberties interpreting the Alter Ego Effect. But I do believe we are all unique in some way. We all have a combination of qualities and characteristics that no one else could wear the way we do. We all have a glass slipper of some sort that can help us dance.

What’s yours? What’s unique about you? Are you hiding your best qualities or bringing them to the party? What would you do or be if you “shed the should” of others’ expectations and released yourself from judgement?

What am I doing now that I’m aware of my self-limiting voices? Asking questions. Getting curious about why I act – or don’t act. Exploring ideas. Looking for the token that reminds me I have glass slippers too. Because I realize that if we choose to hide our most valuable skills and assets rather than develop and use them, we are not honouring our gifts. That’s an incredible waste.

Besides, there’s no one way to dance. Our options are as unlimited, unique and personalized as we are. So turn up the music. It’s time to find your inner dancer.