The mystery of how MILF Manor was cast has been solved

The real mystery of TLC’s MILF Manor is not why the network that once—in a distant galaxy far, far away—was known as The Learning Channel would air this show. After all, this is a network that did not let defense of child molestation deter them.

The real mystery is how, exactly, the show was cast, getting mothers and sons in the same place for a show that, as the L.A. Times said, “encourages the contestants to cross every conceivable parent-child boundary.”

That mystery has been solved, though the article that solves it has introduced a brand-new, even more shcoking mystery: Why the producer of MILF Manor does not actually know what “MILF” means.

The Washington Post’s Emily Yahr reported on the show, and talked with both the show’s producer and one of its stars, and both conversations are revealing.

First, producer Daniela Neumann, who’s managing director of Spun Gold TV in the UK, told Yahr that she has not seen the 30 Rock sketch for MILF Island. That’s very possible.

What I do not find plausible, however, are these claims:

• Neumann says the very first challenge, in which blindfolded moms felt up their shirtless sons as the cameras salivated all over the men’s hot bodies, was “not sexual.”
• Neumann insists she thinks MILF means “Mother I Love Forever” and is a term of endearment in the United Kingdom: “I don’t know about in the States, but in the U.K. it’s used as a positive term,” she said.

The Oxford English Dictionary—which is published by the Oxford University Press, which is based at Oxford College, which is in the United Kingdom the last time I checked—does define “MILF” as “A sexually attractive woman who is a mother or (more generally) of early middle age.”

However, the OED also clearly states that it is an acronym from “the initial letters of mother I‘d like to fuck.”

Kathleen Finch, who runs all of Warner Bros. Discovery’s cable networks, was more honest about the show’s title when speaking at the RealScreen Summit earlier this month. She said, according to Deadline:

“We considered calling in a dozen other [names]. We knew this thing would be controversial. But that’s exactly why we chose it. We like causing attention. We just choose subjects, though, that are that are loud and unusual and they’re living lifestyles that are not ours necessarily, but they’re really interesting and they’re living very genuine lives.”

Let’s go back to Daniela Neumann, who produces a show on which a 20-year-old man said his 50-year-old mother “never wears bras and the girls are always popping out,” and then his mother said, “It didn’t bother you when you were a baby sucking on ’em.”

Neumann insists: “I don’t really understand what all the fuss is about,” and “I’m not quite sure what the big deal is. No one’s doing anything wrong. And these are all consenting adults.” I can’t wait to see her defense of their next show, Dilf Dorm, followed by Incest Island, both of which I made up but are not far removed from what we’re seeing here.

How MILF Manor was cast

On MILF Manor, Kelle says, “Why are you following me on the retreat, Joey?” April says, “I knew my son Gabriel was going to be in Mexico with me. I thought he was going to be on a separate dating retreat.”

But what does that mean, a “separate dating retreat”? Another reality TV show? Sitting in a hotel room and swiping on Tinder? How did they get moms and sons together without them knowing?

It’s standard practice in the reality TV casting process to ask for contact information for friends and family members. That can serve as critically important emergency contact information—or it can give producers a way to include loved ones in the production, whether that’s bringing a family member on location for a surprise visit, or using them for a more diabolical twist.

That was how I suspected MILF Manor was cast: producers separately contacted sons, perhaps pretending they were casting for a different show that’d shoot at the same time. But I was wrong.

So how do you cast mothers and sons without letting them know what the twist is?

Kelle Mortensen, who had the aforementioned conversation with her son Joey about her breasts, was recruited for MILF Manor on Instagram, like so many reality stars before her.

Yahr reports that Mortensen was told the show would be “an empowering show about older women dating younger men.” And incredibly, Kelle did know her son was coming along:

She was told that her eldest son Joey, 20, was invited along to be her support system — she didn’t even know the title of the show until her final interview after filming, when producers asked her to read a line for a show promo: “Up next on ‘MILF Manor.’”

I wonder if that’s when producers explained that “MILF” means “Mother I Love Forever” so everything was just fine, and to go back to feeling up her son and talking about him suckling her breasts.

But I digress. That the mothers and sons all knew they’d be in Mexico at the same time—even as each other’s “support system”—makes the shock and surprise of the twist strain my credulity. Maybe they’ve never, ever seen or read about a reality TV show before? Or maybe the idea of a free trip to Mexico overwhelmed their critical faculties? I hope TLC and Spun Gold filmed DILF Dorm simultaneously, because I’m not sure they’ll be able to get away with such subterfuge again.