By Annie Brown
In news that may surprise women in possession of a pair of breasts, they've apparently made a comeback.
According to the New York Post "boobs are back in a big way", in part thanks to Rihanna "bursting" out of her gown at the premiere of her movie Valerian And The City of a Thousand Planets with her "lady lumps" (sorry, everybody) and "out and proud cleavage".
Rihanna, seen "bursting" out of her dress at the premiere of her new movie. Credit: AP
Funnily though, this comes after Vogue rather controversially declared in December that cleavage (always the bugbear of fashion types anyway, so awkward is cleavage with its disruption of clean lines and good cuts and the need for garments to provide, well, support) was out.
In a rather bolshie fashion, Vogue said at the time, "The tits will not be out for the lads. Or for anyone else, for that matter" (cue the revolution!).
On again, off again ... Christina Hendricks has been singled out for helping revive the 'trend' of showing off cleavage.Credit: Danny Moloshok
Instead, Vogue posited that the lack of "pushed-up" breasts on the red carpet and runway signalled a cleavage-free makeover was happening, one "more likely to win you style points with fashion-conscious colleagues than to attract wolf whistles in the street".
And yet, in 2014 the very same magazine confirmed that bosoms were "back". And not just any old boobs, either.
"The big, bouncy, bodacious sort that heaved their way through the Golden Age of Hollywood – are back," wrote Violet Henderson, before breast-checking the likes of Mad Men's Christina Hendricks, Kate Upton and Sofia Vergara as proof of the "trend".
Relief, one supposes for the women who have heaved their way through ordinary living with the indignity of gaping blouses, chest talkers and the extraordinary ability to make any outfit look a little obscene.
Part of a trend or just living their natural bodies? Actress Sofia Vergara.Credit: Brent N. Clarke
The thing is though, while various media outlets, and indeed fashion trends (ask any busty women their thoughts on the rise of bralettes as worn by the likes of models of the moment Kendall Jenner and Bella Hadid) may declare a passing affinity with a body part (breasts are in! shoulders are the new erogenous zone! Highlight your mons pubis!) bodies aren't a trend.
And dressing them up as such is really quite far from being empowering to women. While the women with ample cleavage might celebrate their sudden thrust into fashion's "in" zone, it's less cause for "body acceptance" for women not in possession of a "bursting" pair of breasts, or something akin to Blake Lively's "melon-like miracles" (Vogue again, in 2014).
Besides, a celebration of ample bosoms and "hourglass figures" isn't really that empowering for women living in a size zero world – all it does is say that, fine, you can be "curvy" so long as your curves are in the right places.
Making body parts a trend means several things. For one, just like super low-rise hipster jeans, you're going to fall out of fashion at some point (but then come back in!). But unlike your favourite pair of going-out jeans from the early oughts that you can pull out from the depths of your wardrobe and wear again, it's not like you can pack away your breasts until they become on-trend once more.
The other thing is that despite the breathless "yes ladies!" tone of articles declaring that a maligned body part is back in fashion, women are still being held to an impossible standard, no matter which side of fashion/history you fall.
And truthfully, there's already enough out there telling us that we don't have the right kind of body without the excited declarations that a body part is making a "comeback".