Inside bizarre ‘cuddle parties’ where women pay to snuggle up with each other and men growl and grunt during sessions
Professional cuddler Adam Paulman told Sun Online the parties that have been a big hit in the US are set to become popular in the UK soon
ADAM Paulman stretches his arms and pulls the three much younger women in front of him into a giant hug.
It's a normal day for the 65-year-old, who works as a professional 'cuddlist', making £60 an hour hosting "cuddle parties" - which he says are about to become popular in the UK.
The grandfather, who has been in the job for eight years - says a number of the parties are planned for the UK in 2019 - but there's no sex, booze is banned and party-goers aren’t allowed to wear anything shorter than knee-length.
Adam, 65, from San Diego, California, is one of the 160 accredited professional cuddlers worldwide, and insists there is no sexual element at all to the four-hour parties, and that men enjoy cuddling each other and grunt during sessions.
There are 11 rules that must be followed - but participants are allowed to tickle and massage each other with permission.
'People long to be touched'
Former maths teacher Adam tells us: “Ultimately, it’s all about respecting each other and consent. It’s not weird, it’s not sexual. It’s about connection. I want this to help build a better, kinder world for my grandkids.
“People do long to be touched these days. It’s a touch deprived world and smartphones are part of the cause. People can be lonely and feeling skin on skin is a genuine human need."
Adam says that these parties are happening all over the world - and are getting more and more popular in the UK.
“There are more and more cuddle parties happening in London and the UK. Maybe there will be more next year because of Brexit, too," he says.
Facilitators can set up cuddle parties anywhere but they mainly happen in people’s lounges.
Participants pay between $30 to $50 to attend (around £24 to £39) - and Adam makes around $500 (approximately £385) a month from running the parties.
Describing a typical cuddle party, Adam, who is single, told how cushions are set up to make it comfortable, there’s music but candles are discouraged because of the risk of knocking them over.
“Each facilitator is different but generally there are snacks," he says.
"I like to take grapes and guests bring their own food. Music helps set the mood. "Younger people like their own thing, an older crowd will like to listen to some jazz, for example.
“There are singles and couples.
'I wear my Snoopy PJs'
Adam says that more men attended the parties at first, then it evened out when women realised it wasn't sexual
“There is a minimum level of dress and I prefer pyjamas because they can be fun. I’ve got some Snoopy-themed pyjamas which always get a smile," he says.
“I’ve had parties with myself and two other people which is very powerful and others with more than 50."
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Cuddle party rules
- Pajamas stay on the whole time.
- You don’t have to touch anyone at a cuddle party, ever.
- You must ask permission and receive a verbal YES before you touch anyone.
- If you’re a yes, say YES. If you’re a no, say NO.
- If you’re a maybe, say NO.
- You are encouraged to change your mind.
- Respect your relationship agreements and communicate with your partner.
- Get your facilitator or the assistant if you have a question or concern or need assistance with anything during the event.
- Tears and laughter are both welcome.
- 10.Respect people’s privacy.
- 11.Keep the cuddle space tidy.
The first hour is taken up in a group communications exercises “to get people comfortable”, Adam explained.
“It’s a workshop first," he said. "It can be men and men, women and women, mixed up and all ages but always over 18.
“It’s the empowerment to know what you want and to choose what you want.
“People who come to cuddle parties over time find they become more empowered in other areas of their life.”
After the first hour, the cuddlers get down to business, he said.
“We encourage people to partner up, there are singles and couples but we encourage them to move around the room and try different people, we don’t want them sticking to just one person.
“The cuddling can include eye gazing, hand holding, head scratching, foot rubbing... even just talking.
“There is no sexual element at all. No sexual touching, even if it’s sensual eye gazing or heavy breathing.
“We are not trying to generate any sexual energy. Everyone who’s touched has to give their consent. They have to be asked and agree to it.
'Men love cuddling each other and growling'
Sometimes, younger people want to be cuddled by an older person.
Adam says this is usually when people want to be reminded of when they used to be held by a grandfather or grandmother.
“Surprisingly, men find it comfortable to cuddle with each other," he continues.
"It’s like when guys play sports and they hug during games. It’s a nurturing experience.
“I had a party in Massachusetts one time and the men tended to gravitate to each other even though there were an equal number of women there.
“They were making growling noises and deep voice sounds. Really making a deep connection. A woman asked to join in and they said no.
Adam says his parties are healing, comforting, restorative, rejuvenating, inspiring and insightful.
“Touching isn’t just about sex and when we appreciate that, it’s a benefit to us,” he says.
Adam said he became a professional cuddler around eight years ago following a chance conversation with a woman who was having relationship problems - and he went off and started his training.
“I knew about cuddle parties from the States and I said to her, ‘So what you want right now is to be held by a man in the absolutely certainty he’s not going to try it on with you?’” he said.
“She started to cry and said that would be so wonderful."
He said applicants to become facilitators are vetted to cut out anyone with a criminal record.
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“The process really does find out anyone with dishonourable intentions as it is a lot of hard work," he said.
"It’s not easy. It takes dedication, time and money and the learning is mainly online.
“What you’re doing is putting people in a situation where you have to open up and be vulnerable so it is very responsible.”